you make me smile :)

you make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head, spin like a record, crazy on a sunday night, you make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe, shine like gold, buzz like a bee, just the thought of you drives me wild...

My love affair with water....

I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER FOR SUMMER!!!!! :D i cant wait any longer to go camping and i cant stand to stay out of the water!!! it could quite possibly be KILLING me! :).... I'm sure you all know how i feel about water... (I'm pretty much part fish:) and today I'm all smiles! Thank you Jesus! not everything in life is all peachy but that's okay i just look past those because every thing else seems great. Kenzie... i don't think its going to go anywhere... if you know what i mean... but that's okay hes a player. :) call me soon though! it sucks not having facebook! and i really hope to go to East Linn's Formal in the next two weeks i think.. i will be going solo (i think) i just painted my nails :) but anyways... I'm so happy right now. for no apparent reason :) Micayla i want the Journal!! :) :) BAD BAD BAD.... okay well for now i leave you with this because for now I'm going to go do dishes for my mommy :) and then off to bed. i pray you all have a lovely day tomorrow! :) love ya.. :)

:)

Its just that way...

Okay, I think i should explain why i don't have access to my facebook, so my parents grounded me from it because i went to lunch with with Cameron and i didn't call them first. Oh well. its part of life. I'm okay with it and its my parents decision so i respect it. Its something i shouldn't have done so I'm glad that they punished me for it. Just my opinion. I don't regret going. I regret not calling my parents. :)

Prom took place last night... MAN!!! that was intense! so i had gotten no sleep like all week, on Tuesday i stayed up late and cleaned my room, Wednesday i didn't get to bed too early and Thursday Luc came over and i went to the gym so i was exhausted and then Friday we went to pick up Ashtyn and then Luc and Kourtney came over and we had a barbecue. Luc and Kourney didn't leave till midnight and we watched Avatar.. not the greatest movie :( i actually hated it) and then Ashtyn spent the night. :) YAY!!! then we went to bed and then woke up at 7:30 to go and get kourney and to get our hair done! :) :) :) it was sooooo fun! :0 then we went home and got makeup on and dress' then we took lots and lots of pictures!!!!!it was fun fun fun! then we all left and went to salem for dinner. we got there like an hour early so we spent some time in the mall. we went to eat and the food was delicious!!!!! and the three boys spent 200$ on just dinner!!!! it was EXPENSIVE! then we drove to Albany and had some time to kill so we went to the mall again and we ran into Cameron Thompson there and he was with his friend who he took to prom "Fatina" what kinda name is that? but anyways she was glaring at Ashtyn and i the whole time! just cause we looked so good... i didn't mind :) and Cameron was just smiling at us.. i didn't mind either :) hahaha anyways.. we went to the dance and it was really fun too. then we went a few other places....... :) and then we came home and watched a few movies. I WAS SO TIRED!!!! i went to sleep at like three and woke up at ten.. then we all went to the falls and walked up and down mountains for like 2 miles!!! i was soooo tired!!! then we came home and Luc left and Kourney and then we went to Albany to take Josiah's tux back and uhhh then we came home and Ashtyn went home :( that was sad! but it was a great great great weekend!!! i hope i get to do it all again at East Linn's formal :P and for now i leave you with this :D have a lovely day :)

[Fore]casting (,) Life

Psychology: this course is an introduction to psychology, the study of the mind and how we behave. the units will be an introduction to the area of study and research methods, the biology of behavior, how brains and personalities develop, thinking, learning, memory, and psychological disorders. Check.

Trails: Students will learn the basic procedures of a criminal trial through mock trials. This process will give the students an appreciation for the way the American criminal justice system works, as well as developing logical argumentation and oral presentation skills. Check.

So we have started to "Forecast" for the upcoming year. the courses described above are the two classes i cant wait for! :) it sounds like such a great opportunity and psychology and law is exactly what i want to do! :) yeah for me..its crazy though because its kinda like we get to forecast or future, and i could do a lot with that. I have also decided to attempt to graduate with a honors diploma. This requires me to graduate with 8 honors credits. Its a challenge I am ready to take on.

I hate it how people (from East Linn) have put this title over public schools I'm general. public schools are great! they give most kids a great opportunity to follow their dreams. And the kiddos there are not all mean and they don't all poke fun at you, actually the mass majority of the people there are very kind and caring, they are also a lot less judgemental then people i have met at other schools. so please try your hardest not to put a negative label on Lebanon high school!

I think that my life is getting more and more confusing :( I think now I am getting to the point in my like that i have to decide what is right and wrong in my own opinion. there are decisions that i have been dealt lately, and everything that is offered in the decisions are good, its kinda like my dreams are coming true but just with the wrong timing. I just know that someone is going to be hurt and i don't know how to fix that :( i realize i cant fix everything and that not everything is going to go my way, but I am at a loss right now and i feel as if i don't have anyone to talk to that would quite understand. there for I am left with the decision all on my own :( and I'm only a sophomore! just think about how difficult my life will get. And that is why God is in my life so i can look to Him for strength. Thank You Jesus! :)

Today i have a doctors appointment. Just a check-up to make sure that I'm tickin the way i should be. I'm sure that I am, but I will let you know if I'm not. :) oh and my lovely parents have purchased a gym membership to a 24 hour gym in sweet home and i can go anytime i want! i will be in shape soon! yay for summer bodies! :) i get a swipey card and everything. thank you parents. :) i feel like there is something else i should be telling you guys but for now i leave you with this.

If Loves Like A Hurricane...

I am a tree. His love is so strong! I love the feeling. Easter makes me think every year about how i don't deserve anything that He has done for me! He suffered and died a terrible death for me, and all i do for my entire life is make mistakes, but yet He STILL loves me, i am so in awe of him! i will spend the rest of my life striving to be like him, and still fail. :) doesn't that just make you feel incredible! it does me! i cant do anything that will make Him not love me. that is wonderful!

P.S. this is just how my brain works.... i change subjects randomly! :)

So I cant express to you how bad i want to get married. I cant only wait for all of the good parts of marriage but i cant wait for the struggles that i will go through with my husband either... crazy huh? my parents were arguing last night and i don't know why but i loved listening to it, maybe its that i just cant wait for when i argue with my husband and then we get to make up and then we are stronger from that. i don't know i honestly think I'm crazy... but that's just my opinion.

Kyle I'm sooooooooooo glad you came and visited me on Friday! and Alex says you have pretty eyes :) she liked you :).... so what do you think about the high school? you wanna go there? its a lot of fun! ask Marshall? and Kenzi would you ever go to Lebanon? just a question... do you like it there?


So i got a prom date, an hes a nice guy, funny, cute too, we are just friends, at least I think we are... Its kinda awkward though because NO ONE likes him... at least none of my friends, so i am constantly getting laughed at, i don't know why they don't like him though, anyways. I'm sure i will have plenty of fun at prom too.... the cool part is that he is on the prom court and hes a senior and hes tall :) and well not many sophomore girls get to go to Junior-Senior Prom anyways so they can laugh all they want! :)

okay well for now i leave you with this
with love. Shelby

just another accident.

Have you ever thought about it, who do you know if you are chasing your dreams or just wanting to grow up too fast. Aren't they pretty much the same thing? I don't know where i am at right now but i hope I'm still at chasing my dreams.

Today i came to the realization of how much i miss Jesus! I'm sooo glad it happened! here how i would explain it. so i was in geography class, Mr. Hoene is my teacher and he has only been my teacher for like a two days, but i already LOVE him! no one else does! :) he calls me smiley! :) in geography today we were discussing the religions in the middle east and how theres Christianity and Judaism and Islamism and anyways Hoenes Christian and he knows i am. But he was talking about how Christianity was different because we believe that we can have a personal relationship with God and we don't have to be anyone special to have that or to go to heaven. then it hit me, I was missing that relationship! it was weird because it wasn't like i felt bad for not keeping up in my relationship it felt exactly like it feels when you havent seen a friend in a long time and then you hear a story about them and you want to see them again sooo bad! (kinda like Zac:) And since i have been at Lebanon i have really really been missing that relationship! so now my plan is not like before, I'm not going to just try to read the bible and try to pray to some "thing" i dont know. now I'm going to try to with all that's in me to make plans and keep in touch with him. like i keep in touch with you guys but I'm sure i will see him more! :) I am super excited that i have that relationship with one of my teachers at Lebanon now! you guys have no idea how much joy this brings me! it makes me want to go to church really bad though! i don't know how it will happen though. my mom works on Sundays and my dad works on some Sundays but he doesn't really like going to church ( hes not much of a people person)

anyways I'm glad i can share this with you guys who understand.. or i hope you understand. so for now i leave you with this.

lifes a dance, you learn as you go...

... sometimes you lead sometimes you follow.

"Daddy gave life to mamas dream." that is the person i wanna marry, someone who simply gives life to my dreams. first of all we don't really share all the same dreams. i am finding it a BIG struggle that he is just so hidden. i don't know if that makes sense, but if we lived in a world of black and white he's gray. i find myself more of a red. I'm getting bored. i don't know if he could handle me. i don't know if there is even someone out there that can. ha i read this bumper sticker the other day and it said "maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed, maybe they are supposed to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with" well that pretty much sums it up.

"There goes my life" Tate and Josiah are graduating and i really don't know whats going to happen when they are gone. i live for them! well mostly Tate but i love them both equally. in two more years i will be graduating! hopefully! ha ha they never warned us that your life goes by so quick! that's not fair! not at all. i need to do something about that, so my solution is simply live life to the fullest. i have just recently come to that conclusion and its going to be one heck of a ride. I'm glad i realized it young. i have the chance to get college done during the last two years of high school but i cant do that i would have no life and i barely have one now but the wee one that i have now has very bright colors in it and has even brighter colors in its future. man i cant wait to have a family! like its bad! i find myself kinda pathetic... i have baby clothes for my boy and names picked out already :/ is that normal... i don't think so! i cant wait to go to college though, i hope I'm good at it. do you think that i will regret living life so full at a young age when I'm older? will i have enough stuff to do?

"sweet dreams" its really really late. this will be an interesting post to read in the morning :P and Kyle i kinda fibbed a little i said i would post tonight but it turned out to be in the morning! but for now i leave you with this. :)

Put a smile on

Everything in life is better when you are smiling! you guys all know me well enough and i smile all the time! today i wasn't feeling good and i didn't smile and it just made me feel worse! i got out of the nurses office and i saw my brother and i smiled and it felt so good! and i saw my friends and they all make me smile and it helped so much! i love to smile! its funny because i never thought that a smile could have that much effect on people but people tell me that when they see me smile it makes there day and there for i will never stop smiling! :D


Friday and Saturday i had a lot of fun at Janaes house and there was one person that i couldn't stop thinking of THE ENTIRE TIME!! it was crazy i never thought i could spend that much time thinking about one person! it was so great but at the same time i wanted to be with that person soooo bad! when i went to sleep that night i was thinking about him and when i woke up i was still thinking about him! so i get home on Saturday and he got home from somewhere on Sunday and on Sunday he emails me and he just didn't seem right.. yes i know him that well! i know when somethings wrong over email. :) but anyways he tried telling me that he didn't want me to waste my life liking him when we never get to see each other! i mean it will get easier and Tate and Ashtyn do it! they live like two hours apart but they still stay together! i hope i convinced him of this but if i didn't i hope he reads this! (it will be okay! i promise!) he kinda worried me honestly, but i cant wait to see him again!

These are the days.

Life is coming at me like a speeding train! i just want to slow it all down and savor every moment! recently in the life of Shelby. well last Sunday Tate (my brother) got into a car wreck, he was not injured at all but the car was :( oh well i thank God that he was okay! then that week was all kinda a daze! but like i said it flew by! then i started a fresh new week! and i don't know how much better this week could have gotten! I feel blessed way beyond what i deserve. really there was nothing too special about the beginning of the week.... well i take that back on Monday, school was pretty so so you know just same ole' same ole' but after school i went home and did nothing until 5 :) then i when back into town to pick up the siblings i wasn't too excited about it but we went to sweet home because my mommy had strength training class and all the kids sat in the jeep! fun right! well believe it or not it was VERY fun! i got to talk to my brothers and sister like i haven't done in a long time :) on the way home Tate and mom and I were talking about my grandpa and how much we missed him and we were just recalling all the memories we had with him! it was really great ( but kinda sobering). then on Tuesday i felt prepared for anything that came my way! but nope God show me that! in sixth period our teacher was finally there after four weeks of having a substitute! he was away because him mom was dieing. :( when he returned he told us a little about his trip and how he had gotten to spend so much time with his mom before she passed away! it all hit home! it was crazy i didn't think that i would have gotten upset at all maybe just a little sad but it brought back all those feeling of when my grandpa had died. i remember after my grandpa died, that Christmas i got a picture of him and i remember times when i would cry and hug that picture and cry some more! i had a hard time watching this man who is a great teacher and who is a very wise guy break down and talk about how his mother just wanted to go home... how she just wanted to see her husband again. i don't know why it got me so up set but it did. what made it all better was the boys basketball game that i got to watch on Tuesday night. even though they lost I'm still there for them and they did great in my eyes! (I'm glad none of them will read this). Wednesday um nothing to spectacular happened because i cant remember it. i do remember that i made cookies and i was at Stephanie's a lot that day but i don't know why? huh weird! then Thursday was the bestest out of EVERYTHING!! on Thursday i woke up and i was so stoked for the game that night! at school i had to finish a writing test during first and second period! that was no fun but it didn't ruin my day! third period i was asked to be a model for the fashion show at the end of the year! how cool is that! i was stoked! then fourth fifth sixth and seventh were all a blur! then after school i was unexpectedly picked up by my grandpa, i get in the truck and he tells me that mom had a flat tire on the rental car! and everything else in her day went wrong too :( poor mom! he took me to Stephanie's and we got ready there for the game!!! we went to the game and we were a little late!! but it was all good! i found some friends to go and sit with and then they announced the other team and then they announced our senior boys on the basketball team! Tate was a senior so he got to start in the game along with three other seniors! :) after they did that then the team did something i had never seem them do before the WHOLE team came over to the student section with a bouquet of tulips and LT started to go up towards the top of the stands and i ask him where he was going as he handed me the flowers! and the WHOLE team thanked me for all the cookies i had made them and for coming to their games!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I COULD NOT STOP SMILING FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT! I have a love for those boys like no other! its something you just wouldn't understand! and i got to watch my brother make the first three point of the game! :) and he was also high score of the game! :) after the game i gave all the boys hugs and told them thank you! and then to top that off! i got to go to Shari's afterwards and hang out with some pretty awesome people! then i woke up this morning and was sooo tired but was loving the idea of going to school! :) these are the days that i live for! thank you Jesus! and for now i leave you with this!

Enjoy.

i would like to share something with you all that read this. this is a letter that i wrote myself last year sometime in the summer. i got the inspiration from a song by brad paisley. its a letter to myself and its kinda backwards from his because he writes his from when he was older to when he is young and i wrote this to myself at thirty three. please share what you think and if you have written a letter to yourself please share that with me.

A Letter of Hope to Me at 33
I look forward to seeing the wedding band on your left hand ring finger.
And to who gave it to you I hope you are madly and solidly in love with.
I can imagine the wedding was breathtaking
But just not quite as breathtaking as the man you married.
I hope you have a love for your little kids that you have never experienced before.
Be nice to your kids, let them have a wild imagine, let them become super heroes if they want to. Tell them bed time stories until they are old enough to tell you bed time stories
I hope that the trails you go through make you stronger.
And don’t fall down unless you are planning on getting right back up, don’t give up in the perfect gift of life don’t waste it.
I pray that you forgive when needed and that you can learn to put things behind you.
Please never forget to dream, never forget to take a risk once in a while, do it for me, just to give me something to look forward to.
I expect you to remember the most important thing in life, God, and every day of your life stand in awe of Him.
Remember the other things in life too; remember to take lots of pictures.
Remember life’s not about the amount of your pay check. Life has so many heights that so many people don’t reach, that they don’t even see.
I challenge you to become something other than average. Don’t ever look at the world and the people in it and frown; see that as an opportunity for you to change it.
I hope college was fun I hope you love your job and if you don’t, don’t just give up find things in it to like.
Love your husband so much and show that you love him. You have waited so long for someone like him, be the wife that he has waited for too; learn from all the relationships that you have been in and will go through.
Don’t hurt the relationship that you have with Tate, don’t ever take him out of your life.
I pray that you will become closer to Josiah and Mabinty as the years go by, and always be there for your parents, don’t let them down.
You will always by your mom’s daughter and you guys will probably always argue, but don’t waste that relationship.
You will always be daddy’s little girl don’t loose him; he will always be there for you even if you mess up; he knows you will mess up too. Cherish every hug that you get from him
Its hard to believe that I am writing this as a fourteen year old freshman and its hard to believe that I am already fourteen; it just proves how time flies by and how hard it is not to blink but sometimes you got to. I hope that when I am 33 I am living my life to the fullest and not letting any moment slip through my hands.

Life is way to busy!!! i have to go to my brothers basketball game now! but maybe later tonight after things settle down! :/

NEWS!!!

i think i will post when i get home! since right now i am in seventh period! :) i miss writing on here and i know i should more often! :)

i surrender.

so this could be long since i haven't written in a while... the things that i worry about in my life amaze me... so today we were in lock-down for three hours because the school found a empty gun case and no gun. so as you can see that was pretty intense but i wasn't scared.. we went from three hours of first period to fourth period to lunch and then i have fifth and sixth period with some people that really make me feel funny and i was terrified to go to those classes! i am so pathetic! so anyways i go to fifth and the guy that i have a crush on is in that class and he tells me that he knows someone that is going to ask me to formal and that his last name starts with a B and the guy i like his name doesn't start with a B so i was kinda disappointed so... anyways i figure out who it is and i do not want to go with this guy! and i feel so bad! this is the second time that i have been asked by someone that i don't want to go with and i don't know what to do...

so that all happened today and yesterday i was on YouTube and i was just looking for something to listen to while i did the dishes so i typed in Laminin and i found that video that i had watched for the last three years and it just made me feel so lost and i really don't know who to go on and i don't know what to do with my life. i feel like such a failier in the fact that i could have died today and i was worried about the guy that i like and probably has and never will like me... i honestly have been struggling the last few months and i HATE to confess that i have been struggling because i just feel defeat.there are some things in my life that i cant surrender to but I surrender completely and fully to God almighty. and i know that the will help me make the right decision.

Peaches

lately i have been really busy, obviously since i haven't posted in like a month! anyways, school has been school and i can already tell that it wont ever add up to how great of a year i had last year, its weird i look forward to the end of school this year...unlike last year and i also wish that i had the great friends by my side like i had last year. but i will make it through and i think i should stop talking about my problems because i don't want any sympathy from you guys so.... in my life lately.... Josiah just finished his last football season of high school and it was a GREAT game and i wish more people would have came! the game left me in tears... it was the worst loss i have seen these boys have and the best game i have seen them play! it still really hasn't registered that i wont ever watch my brother play in high school football again and i was his biggest fan! He is such a hero of mine for so many reasons, the dedication he put into this sport was crazy! i have watch all of his football games since i was in the fifth grade. that's six years! and i have never seen him give up and i have never seen him fail. when he gets hurt which he rarely does he is back out the next week and as strong as he was before! he is amazing... but anyways tate and mabinty are starting basketball and tate is doing a good job with making friends with all of my friends on the basketball team. my friends are telling me that he is "bad A" haha funny huh but i like having them tell me stories about him! and mabinty well she is content being a freshman! so for know i leave you with this.