so this could be long since i haven't written in a while... the things that i worry about in my life amaze me... so today we were in lock-down for three hours because the school found a empty gun case and no gun. so as you can see that was pretty intense but i wasn't scared.. we went from three hours of first period to fourth period to lunch and then i have fifth and sixth period with some people that really make me feel funny and i was terrified to go to those classes! i am so pathetic! so anyways i go to fifth and the guy that i have a crush on is in that class and he tells me that he knows someone that is going to ask me to formal and that his last name starts with a B and the guy i like his name doesn't start with a B so i was kinda disappointed so... anyways i figure out who it is and i do not want to go with this guy! and i feel so bad! this is the second time that i have been asked by someone that i don't want to go with and i don't know what to do...
so that all happened today and yesterday i was on YouTube and i was just looking for something to listen to while i did the dishes so i typed in Laminin and i found that video that i had watched for the last three years and it just made me feel so lost and i really don't know who to go on and i don't know what to do with my life. i feel like such a failier in the fact that i could have died today and i was worried about the guy that i like and probably has and never will like me... i honestly have been struggling the last few months and i HATE to confess that i have been struggling because i just feel defeat.there are some things in my life that i cant surrender to but I surrender completely and fully to God almighty. and i know that the will help me make the right decision.
